Chronicles of Two Dreaming Eyes

Long long back- My parents are trying to make me sleep.Lights are off.Dad on one side,and mom on the other. But I wont be so easily pacified. After all,how can I take those beaches and trees and dreams of far-off lands out of my mind.and I hadn't really asked Daddy for anything much up till now..I am unrelenting..I want to go to Goa..AND I wont sleep unless I am promised that we'll go there next summer.
Dad promises and I sleep peacefully-Same story goes on for nights...

Weeks later,we are on board a train off to Bombay(as it was then) and Goa.

Class 8 -I have grown up,but the bed hasn't,so I am sleeping alone. Dreaming of Cardcaptors.That melodious opening theme(or the mere memory of it) is running through my mind, almost like a soundtrack.I wake up. Suddenly the reality dawns on me.There is no Cardcaptors now, no Dragon Ball Z.I probably wont get to watch them again. Pathetic shows now infest Cartoon Network.
Tears roll down my cheek. I make a silent promise to myself that I will earn lots of money and buy off CN.

Years later,I am downloading episodes of Dragon Ball Z from internet,illegally.


Class 10-Spotlights are on.I am in the centre of ESPN School Quiz. Somehow it is my day. Harsha Bhogle is asking questions to which Only I know the asnswers to.People are applauding. I wake up.Its dawn.
But the reality doesnt dawn on me right then.A few mins pass,I get up.I Promise myself that this year I will go to the quiz well prepared and win many episodes. I make up imaginary quiz circumstances in which I hit the 20 pointer in the end and get the "Hero of the day" award.
But as the memory of my last year's painful 1st round exit comes to haunt me,tears roll down my cheek.My fists are clenched.

ESPN School quiz never happened that year.



Class 11- I am dreaming , of a girl I like at tution.Unaware,I am smiling in my sleep.As I wake up, the smile persists. I just couldn't get her out of my head.I know where I am headed....

Class 12 after exams-A snow white face is approaching me in a bus.Even though everything is hazy and blurry, I just know who she is. She was the same girl I had dreamed of a year back.She was the same girl who I had just broken up with (or rather,as I would painfully admit,who had just broken up with me).
She comes up to me, holds my hand, says Shes sorry .I say I'm sorry.I just cant believe she came up to me. We decide to start over.My happiness knows no bound.I am leaping with joy.
This time the tears are already there when the reality dawns. The realization amplifies the waterworks.
It was just a dream.Like many of those previous dreams. Why !
Right then, I hate myself.I wish it wasnt just a dream.

After more than a year,She Who Must Not Be Named still visits my dreams,though a lot less frequently.


A few weeks back - I have been practicing it. Suddenly, one day, I achieve what I have been trying to do. I rise a few feet in air,with my hands flapping vigorously. I am flying."This must be a dream" I whisper to myself. After all, I had dreamed of flying many times before. I slap myself.
NO this wasn't just a dream.I try rising higher,but fail. After a few hours I go to insti rooftop, where a volleyball match is going on Himadri vs Kailash. I flap my hands.I rise higher than before ,but fall awkwardly.I need to practice this.I put myself on show during Rendevous,where people dismiss it as a magic trick.
After what seemed like days,I wake up.No tears.I say"shit".It was again a dream.

I have had 4-5 dreams about flying,but none felt as realistic as this.


A few days ago- I am arguing with my unrecognizable-in-reality friend. About GOD. I look out of the window. I surmise that if God exists, he will show itself to me that very moment. Suddenly I see something through the window.Then it disappears. I look harder- AND THEN....I am thrown over by the shock. I saw two monumental images of GOD-like people hanging in mid air.I was not able to look at that for more than a second.The view totally overpowers me.I am running out of breath.I hide behind the curtain. I ask my friend to look outside the window. He says he sees nothing. I beg him to look harder. He gasps and says-OH!
I wake up. I think about the dream."Shit Happened" ,I tell myself. What do I do now? Do I start believing? I saw GOD in my dream. The rationalist in me says that it happened because the ongoing discussions about God in my blog.Then I thought about my other dreams I had in my life--they were after all, just dreams.I never got to participate in ESPN school quiz again, the girl never came back to me, I have never known to fly,and I will definitely not buy CN. I think that I should not create much fuss about GOD.It doesnt really matter if he exists or not.

Dreams are fascinating.I love them and hate them, at the same time.
Its mindboggling how ,immediately after the dream you reckon what you saw was very interesting, and it seems awfully stupid after getting back to senses.
I dream a lot. My friends say its because I think too much.Maybe so.

There are a lot of interesting quotes about dreams like:
"Dream is not what you see when you sleep…It’s the thing which does not let you sleep"

I am not talking about being philosophical here,just being practical.
Do they mean anything? Should I react to them? Would I be a fanatic If I ...for instance....get inspired about my flight dream and start doing something about it. Believing that I can really fly someday?or Start believing in GOD because of it?

I believe though dreams dont mean anything ,we can add meaning to them.Take them as a source for inspiration. Dreams as such are just a form of our imagination.
If they are nightmares, then just ignore them.
Also,I believe that Humans can fly someday.Maybe as a result of evolution.maybe just as a newly learned art.Just like swimming.and I wish I have something to do about it.

Of Green Grasses and Tennis Lasses

Its the home of the most touching of rags to riches stories, most enthralling upsets,overnight stardom, path to Tennis greatness and its called -Wimbledon, and its here!

The season is on again. Official films, Off court interviews, and Historical matches are once again on top of my priorities when I switch on the TV, and being as vellah as I am, I do it very often.



Here are the tennis players I've admired the most over the years:

Men:

1. Goran Ivanisevic
2. Gustavo Kuerten
3. Guillermo Coria
4. Rafael Nadal

Women:

1. Justine Henin Hardenne
2. Martina Navratilova
3. Martina Hingis
4. Gabriela Sabatini
5. Gigi Fernandez
6. Jana Novotna
7. Ana Ivanovic
8. Nathalie Dechy

Obviously,the lists are biased because of my personal tendencies to favour the underdogs,dark horses,so-close-yet-so-far stories,and last but not the least, on the women's looks.


This year also ,even though Nadal is out,I'll be supporting a bunch of young players that I reckon will do well:

• Sorana Cirstea(up against Mirza)
• Agnieszka Radwanska
  
• Juan Martin Del Potro

(Out of Context,but still notable- Wimbledon ,starring Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany, is the best sports based movie I've seen.)

Humans and their Strange ways

There are many customs and ways of people that bemuse me.
For instance, why do people deposit flowers when they visit the graveyard? If only,had they bothered to gift flowers to their loved ones while they were still alive,this world would have been a lot better place.

I would rather have dead flowers while I am breathing than breathing flowers while I am not.

Things that made Semester 2 meaningful

(In random order)

1.Politics and Seniors: A very emotional experience at that time.Looking back,it was a great learning curve,and easily made up for the interactions I missed with seniors due to lack of ragging.(Even though I had many more interactions than most of my batchmates)..and it made the farewell all the more meaningful to me.
Good or bad,they were colorful personalities I'll surely miss.Also the Football seniors and their valuable ,or rather,invaluable advice.

2.Star Wars and Queen Amidala: 6 Star War movies in a short span will no doubt influence even the most unfeeling, unresponsive, unconcerned of viewers.The Jedi-Sith philosophy is very applicable to real life,and I could straight away relate to Anakin Skywalker.Natalie Portman as Queen Amidala totally took over my mind , until I slowly recovered from the Star Wars fever.The order in which I watched them was 1,2,4,5,6,3...and the last movie was a masterpiece. A fitting ending to my journey in the Star Wars universe.

3.Professor Tripathi: Well I admired him for his maths right from the RMO camp, because I had not seen anyone 'that' good at Maths uptil then.He turned out to be my course advisor,and in an ironic twist of fate,The Quizzing Club President. After all this,the allotment of his course in this semester came as another pleasant surprise.
Even though he has his critics among many Mac Guys including me,I am still under the influence of his injections of Inspirational stories.The Stic Dinner was probably the most invigorating of Sem 2 experiences. I hope I continue to stumble upon him in the remaining part of my IIT life.(or maybe even afterwards).

4.Professor R.Chatterjee:
Though altogether different from Prof. Tripathi, she did what any prof. in the world would have had a tough time doing- made my life in Quantum Mechanics easier. Her insights on the PHP lab practicals was something that really kept my interest going on ,though at the same time inviting accusations by fellow batchmates of buttering and that I liked her only because she favoured me.Maybe it was similar to a self fulfilling prophecy,she expected me to do well,so I kept my interest going in her subjects as I didnt want to let her down.
Thumbs up for her broad-mindedness and interactive nature.


5.Andrew Lloyd Webber: Though I didnt mention this to anyone.This composer literally added a soundtrack to my life. Whenever I was all alone,in R2 or cycling to the Insti..or Library..I would put on his marvelous instrumental music.

6.Quizzing:There was more to quizzing than our hot attractive QC Secy.All the quizzing work I had been doing got official status,and I can feel That after a year,I have gone a level up.I even got selected as a wild card in a Comp and went as far as last 8!
Many things to look forward to next year!{Hopefully they would not involve me and Kshitij blowing up balloons and sticking in invitation cards in them. ;) }

7.Badminton and Basketball:Semester-2 witnessed an increase of Badminton Night outs,mostly with Vipul and Rohan.and I even managed to beat Vipul twice or thrice.Now,mocking him is almost as fun as playing.
With the election of Kshitij as Basketball captain,we made some errands to the Basky Court.Once we even beat a team of outsiders 4 on 4: ME,Kshitij,Raghu,Vipul.

8.Humanities: Hmmm not so much...But Still it showed me a side of IITD I longed for: Art,and Things other than just application-based science.


P.S : Some persons/incidents I might have missed.

The Elixir of Rebellion

Do you ever get a feeling that you're not in control of your own life? That your body is acting on its own and you're just watching and commenting from the outside?What would you do if you've not grown into the person you always wanted yourself to be? Would you continue living the life other's want to you to live? Continue feeling numb?


When we possess the heart of a child,
Life is fluid,this world a dream
Our imagination is runnning wild
blood full of passion-eyes agleam.

Powerful are intuitions,instincts strong
Its life's most beautiful stage
A child's innocence- we know no wrong
But Alas! This society is nothing but a cage.

We never repelled and rebelled,
followed obtusely what they taught at the schools
Gone is the power we as young ones held
For now we are chained by the rules.

By logic and principles,we are bound and gagged.
Abandoned our dreams,abandoned our souls
Under pressure,we lagged and sagged,
blinded by short term goals.

To everyone,I have only this message to give,
Rise from the ashes , save yourself from the drown-
Live the life you always wanted to live
and Break down the rules before the rules break you down!

So remember - your life is a priceless gem
Dont let it follow blindly what the so called "wise men" teach
But also be warned- For I am one of them ,
and I dont practice what I preach!


P.S:

Go on! Live a life.Take risks.Mess the unmessed. Ramble arbitly!
Make theories clever and wise,
on whatever arbit things you like...even if they are mice!
(Dedication to all those MaC blog writers out there)

A God's workshop in an Idle mind...Part II

I recently payed a visit to the local temple,at my dad's request.Its probably been a year or so since I last went there.I tried to resist, but again I found myself talking to myself .

Me: Hello .I am here again.Well I am not going to argue if you exist or not, lets just assume you do.

Hanuman's idol: --------------------(blank)

I stand there for the next few mins ,being all spiritual and mystical.and then moved on..

Krishna's idol:Hello there.

Me:Hi...Er...I dont want to look selfish and all,but I'm gonna do what everyone does in a temple.(Except some nut cases,ofcourse).
I have a few wishes.

Krishna's idol: *Sighs .I am not a Jinn!*

(I just made this up.Well statues dont sigh,but thats what I imagine it would have done had it been able to .)

Me:Ok.I have heard stories in which you grant wishes,lets clear up some things.

• Either people dont get what they actually want because of you outwitting them on what they asked for OR
  
• They are never satisfied with that wish and die unsatisfied and unhapy OR
• You fulfill their wishes but in the end they realise that its all moh-maya.
• Also some people try to be clever,and ask for the famous paradoxical wish that everything they wish for comes true.AND then their life goes on to follow a trajectory similar to the movie Bruce Almighty.
• Some people anger you with their wishes,and instead get cursed.
• Some phonies declare that they dont need anything and are satisfied with what they have,and in the end ...dont get anything .
  

So...to be precise...I dont want my wishes to be limited by the fact that I am only human,and can make mistakes,and dont have a deep philosophically understanding of the universe as you do.
So lets just say,since you're a god, you go deep into my mind,see what I want to be happy and what I really need, and fulfill it as much as your powers allow you to.(no offence)

Somehow ,the LORD (or the idol) seemed to gape at me with wide eyes,baffled look.


Me: Ok now I really need to move on.I dont want to be partial,because else I might have to face the wrath of the Other LORDS out there.(Forgive me for thinking so, because as it might be the case- GOD IS ONE. and even if you are not one..I mean you all are not one...you are supposed to be very broad-minded.Such fears are,in part,promoted by games like Caesar 3 and Age of Mythology)

Moving on...
With Lord(ess?) Saraswati up next..

Me:Hey.So you are the goddess of knowledge and arts.So..uhmm I should ask for something academic and intellectual.

Somehow,the statue seemed to narrow its eyes,to give that saracastic look girls often give.

Me:Oh dont be offended. See I am not a bad kid.I well...follow the general ethics..being helpful ,spiritual and all.Its just that I am more than often involved in the moral religious dilemma of believing in you or not.So I here(me here) may seem derogatory.In any case,as i said,I am a good kid.
So....well....I am wishing for somethings here...and just have a chat with lord Krishna before taking any further action.Ofcourse,it would be very comfortable for me if you are one and the same.(But very awkward for you!)


********Confidential wishes**************

Next...Shiva the Destroyer.

Me:Well... Er... Dont destroy me.




P.S:

1. I sincerely apologise to anyone who is hurt by this post,and I want to make it clear that I dont really mean the apology.
2. This actually happened with me in the temple.Though it is slighly overblown and exagerrated.
3. I felt really calm and peaceful in the temple,though I wanted to resist thinking all these wierd thoughts.
4. I feel that this turns out to be a nice satire on the concept of God ,which , when put alongside the beliefs propounded by the believers (like God is one,impartial etc.), is self contradictory.
5. No offence god.I do really believe in you.You are great! (I dont really believe,but why take the risk?)
6. Oh shit If gods read this,then I am going to HELL!
7. It would be nice of you all to drop a comment,I really want to see the general opinion.
   

Some Bollywood notes

Mom got this new bollywood fever from my sister. Everytime she turns up in the room,I am forced to turn to channels like MTV, 9XM , Channel V etc. etc. at her behest. Meanwhile I cant help but notice that Bollywood songs are getting stupider than ever.

• There are songs which keep on repeating some phonetically ugly words ,which I doubt even the actors involved understand. Theres "Nagada nagada nagada....and so on", "Marjaani marjaani. marjaani....something something" ;" Mauja hi mauja" etc etc.
  
• Then theres this unbelievably lame song made out of "Jack and Jill went up the hill".
• "Love mera hit hit" is so gross ..so gross...that you almost want to watch it again to appreciate how bad deepika padukone and shahrukh look in it.
• Akshay Kumar looks awful as a surd.My hands automatically crawl towards my hair and start pulling them apart at the sight of all those surds dancing in "Singh is King".
• Katrina Kaif amazes me how she has got so many fans among my friends. She looks total fake in all the acting or dancing acts I've seen her.

Though after about half an hour of pleading and hair pulling, and some other tactics that I employ,my mom allows me to change the channel by saying " Evn I didnt like these songs earlier.You have to listen again and again to get used to them."(I hope that time never comes.)

P.S: I absolutely love Sonam Kapoor's dance gigs in Delhi 6.

An Ode to a Loser

When ..
You're down and out
You're losing every bout
Your every surety is fazed by a doubt
Every victory is replaced by a rout,

Then just consider this thought, my friend
which...I'll tell you in the end.

When..
You're losing every battle you ever fought
You're missing your every shot.
You feel like you're losing the plot
Not being able to confront life's onslaught,


Then just consider this thought, my friend
which...I'll tell you in the end.


When ...
In every exam,you fail
Suffering losses on a massive scale
Your life is a tragic tale
And no one is there to hear your wail,

Then just consider this thought, my friend
which...I'll tell you in the end.


When...
You're getting betrayed by your closest mate
You're in a miserable state
You're left with no answer to life's debate
'Loser' is the sole word written in your fate,


Then just consider this thought, my friend
which...I'll tell you in the end.

When...
You are going through a tough phase
Not keeping up with life's pace
You're losing every race
Double faulting when you should have delivered an ace,
(In short, you're a hopeless case)


Then My friend, consider this thought
that about 20 years ago one day, you were the fastest sperm among the lot!




P.S:
1) I should probably say 'one night' in the last line . ;)
2) Some French Open influence in the last para.
3) Assumption,you're app. 19 years old, as I am. Make adjustments to the last line if you're not.

A moral logic question

Suppose You find a loophole in legal law (whatever that means), and commit an act which is considered morally wrong,but in such a way that it is acc. to law.
Now the country court finds the loophole, and changes the law in such a way that the loophole is taken care off, and acc. to new law the act committed by you was illegal.
Now you are caught by the police. In the court hearing you are asked to confess,if you dont confess and found guilty you will be heavily punished,and if you confess you might be pardoned to some unknown extent.



Will you confess?
and in any case Is the court wrong in punishing you?