Confessions of a Swine Flu suspect

Oh my simple cold and cough,
I request thee- leave me alone
For People have been ringing the alarm bells
They mistake thee for something else!

They say you hath something to do with swines
They say its dangerous and contagious
The public places-they say I cannot explore
But I know you're just common cold and nothing more!

Aah! my poor Throat!
your attention deficit syndrome -I understand
But that doesnt mean you go so Sore
Canst you see its causing an uproar?

and you---my nose?
This was not expected of you
Either you leak creepy fluids- or set up a blockade
Such extreme behaviour! Why have you betrayed?

Fear turns even the staunchest of atheist -
into believers firm
Help me Jesus,Allah -my Lord Dear
I'm just an agnostic-and one not so sincere!

A God's workshop in an Idle mind...Part II

I recently payed a visit to the local temple,at my dad's request.Its probably been a year or so since I last went there.I tried to resist, but again I found myself talking to myself .

Me: Hello .I am here again.Well I am not going to argue if you exist or not, lets just assume you do.

Hanuman's idol: --------------------(blank)

I stand there for the next few mins ,being all spiritual and mystical.and then moved on..

Krishna's idol:Hello there.

Me:Hi...Er...I dont want to look selfish and all,but I'm gonna do what everyone does in a temple.(Except some nut cases,ofcourse).
I have a few wishes.

Krishna's idol: *Sighs .I am not a Jinn!*

(I just made this up.Well statues dont sigh,but thats what I imagine it would have done had it been able to .)

Me:Ok.I have heard stories in which you grant wishes,lets clear up some things.

• Either people dont get what they actually want because of you outwitting them on what they asked for OR
  
• They are never satisfied with that wish and die unsatisfied and unhapy OR
• You fulfill their wishes but in the end they realise that its all moh-maya.
• Also some people try to be clever,and ask for the famous paradoxical wish that everything they wish for comes true.AND then their life goes on to follow a trajectory similar to the movie Bruce Almighty.
• Some people anger you with their wishes,and instead get cursed.
• Some phonies declare that they dont need anything and are satisfied with what they have,and in the end ...dont get anything .
  

So...to be precise...I dont want my wishes to be limited by the fact that I am only human,and can make mistakes,and dont have a deep philosophically understanding of the universe as you do.
So lets just say,since you're a god, you go deep into my mind,see what I want to be happy and what I really need, and fulfill it as much as your powers allow you to.(no offence)

Somehow ,the LORD (or the idol) seemed to gape at me with wide eyes,baffled look.


Me: Ok now I really need to move on.I dont want to be partial,because else I might have to face the wrath of the Other LORDS out there.(Forgive me for thinking so, because as it might be the case- GOD IS ONE. and even if you are not one..I mean you all are not one...you are supposed to be very broad-minded.Such fears are,in part,promoted by games like Caesar 3 and Age of Mythology)

Moving on...
With Lord(ess?) Saraswati up next..

Me:Hey.So you are the goddess of knowledge and arts.So..uhmm I should ask for something academic and intellectual.

Somehow,the statue seemed to narrow its eyes,to give that saracastic look girls often give.

Me:Oh dont be offended. See I am not a bad kid.I well...follow the general ethics..being helpful ,spiritual and all.Its just that I am more than often involved in the moral religious dilemma of believing in you or not.So I here(me here) may seem derogatory.In any case,as i said,I am a good kid.
So....well....I am wishing for somethings here...and just have a chat with lord Krishna before taking any further action.Ofcourse,it would be very comfortable for me if you are one and the same.(But very awkward for you!)


********Confidential wishes**************

Next...Shiva the Destroyer.

Me:Well... Er... Dont destroy me.




P.S:

1. I sincerely apologise to anyone who is hurt by this post,and I want to make it clear that I dont really mean the apology.
2. This actually happened with me in the temple.Though it is slighly overblown and exagerrated.
3. I felt really calm and peaceful in the temple,though I wanted to resist thinking all these wierd thoughts.
4. I feel that this turns out to be a nice satire on the concept of God ,which , when put alongside the beliefs propounded by the believers (like God is one,impartial etc.), is self contradictory.
5. No offence god.I do really believe in you.You are great! (I dont really believe,but why take the risk?)
6. Oh shit If gods read this,then I am going to HELL!
7. It would be nice of you all to drop a comment,I really want to see the general opinion.
   

Hats off to Douglas Adams

Not so long ago, I had written something about the watchmaker concept...While I was reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,I came across this wonderful satire by Douglas Adams.

(Talking about the Babel fish,which can translate any language of the universe for its user)

“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful as the Babel fish could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

“The argument goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’

“‘But,’ says Man, ‘The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’

“‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

“‘Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo’s kidneys, but that didn’t stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best- selling book Well That About Wraps It Up For God.

A must read for everyone !!!!

A God's workshop in an idle mind ..part 1

God: Hi
Me: (laughing) not again..I know you dont exist.
God: Why do you say so?
Me: Because its not you..its just me thinking.
God: What makes you believe that its not me inside you..Why do you think its you talking to yourself. Maybe its me making you think what you are thinking.
Me: Stop..or I'll just go mad!!!
God: Dont worry.its me God..I'll take care of everything.
Me: Ok. Since we've arrived at a paradox at not being able to confirm if you're really god or not...why dont you do something that will make me believe.
God: Because I am god.I dont need to prove myself.Simple.You believe if you want to.
Me: Ok ! I believe you exist.happy.now what?
God: Nothing.
Me: Ok.bye
God: Look. I dont want people fight over if they believe in me or not. I just want them to live life a healthy way and let others live. I dont want them to follow different code of ethics which they call religion.I'm not for hindu or islam or christian etc.There is just one code called humanity.
Me: This is exactly what I think ! See now its confirmed its just me talking to myself and its not God!
God: But even you are God. I am in everyone.Havnt you come across the concept in which one is given an object through which he would see GOD ,and it turns out to be a mirror!?
Me: Oh no.Not THAT lame concept again! It spoils the plot of many thrilling sci-fi and philosophical stories.
God: ??? So if you ever have any argument over God with anyone,just shut him/her by this concept and be happy.
Me: I dont know if you are God or Just me going nuts,but whatever crap you are talking....it deserves to be on my blog!
God:But I am not going to shut up unless you promise to talk to me again. I am bored you see.
Me: If a promise is the only way you're gonna be quiet ,then so be it.Just shut up for now for GOD'S SAKE!